we are very young we do not have a lot of choices because
parents, teachers, etc tend to tell us what to do. We
need guidance as we mature, and gradually we are given
Growing up can sometimes feel hard. often perhaps because
we are not yet ready for the sense of responsibility that
comes with making choices. Perhaps also we do not feel we
have been given enough background knowledge to enable us
to make good choices. We could arguably always feel short
of confidence due to this, but there is no complete
answer to getting this right, one just has to start
finding out for ones self somewhere along the line. We
have to accept that even making choices that turn out to
be mistakes are still part of our learning and maturing.
We can get help from researching information, talking to
friends, counsellors even, but at the end of the day the
time comes for us to make our choices for ourselves,
without anyone telling us what to do any more.
We often forget that it might not matter very much if
some of our choices are wrong, in fact they
might not be wrong in actuality, but have
given us the opportunity to try something out and learn
We tend to beat ourselves up if we make mistakes, but
everyone makes mistakes! If we judge ourselves harshly,
does this mean that we also treat our family and friends
this way? If we pour scorn on others, they will tend to
walk away, so why pour scorn on yourself - you have to
live with yourself - so try to be understanding of your
Often there is no blindingly obvious right or
wrong choice - we may have to try out the
options anyway, and be patient with ourselves. This is
just all part of life, maturing further. We never stop
If you feel stuck in a place and a
job you are not that happy with, then the worst thing you
can do is dwell on thoughts about how unhappy you are.
One thing is for certain, the more you tell yourself you
are unhappy, the more you will be! The best thing to do
is to focus on the positives - for example - the area is
cheap to live in and the job pays well, therefore you can
save a lot for whatever you might want to do next.
So, this means you are making a choice. You have decided
to be there and do this job for the meantime at least,
and you can review this choice any time you want to see
if it is still the best choice for that time. You have
identified why it is the best choice for now, so now you
can focus on trying to decide what exactly it might be
that you want to do next. Again, internet research,
talking to people, etc, can provoke ideas. Surely it is
better to stick something out until you know what you
want to do next, rather than just drift off, or walk away
in anger, with no options in place?
There is no need to be manic about
trying to find answers, sometimes it takes time.
Meanwhile, we can also find hobbies that help keep us
interested, stimulated, active, etc. We can look at our
diets too and ensure that we are well balanced and
healthy - obtaining all the vitamins and minerals we need
to keep us optimally functioning. A lack of something can
cause all sorts of issues, often including physical and
mental lethargy. It is harder to get everything we need
these days from a simple diet as our soil has become
depleted and our environment polluted, so sometimes we
need to keep topped up, and we also need to keep well
hydrated so that our bodies can detoxify properly.
Being able to turn something around from feeling stuck in
negative reactive thinking about your situation, to the
fact that you have made certain choices and why, is very
Once you feel better about yourself,
you will be more able to see the path ahead, and plan
positively for it. You may not be so sure that what you
studied at uni, for example, is the line you want to go
on working in, but perhaps there is a path slightly off
centre to that which would suit you. Perhaps you know
somewhere deep down that all your received teaching is
not necessarily one hundred percent correct, so perhaps
you might want to investigate the anomalies further?
Perhaps your role in life is to shed new light on a
topic. You dont have to stop doing research just
because you finished uni - ones whole life could be
regarded as research if you want - research, then
experimenting via experience, then further development
from what you learn.
You can share things you discover, or even just think
about, via all sorts of media, publications, talks,
through writing songs, just networking. There is a whole
world of people out there interested in listening.
Curiosity is one of mans
greatest instincts. Many other instincts underpin our
survival, but curiosity spurs evolution. Without it we
become stagnant, like a blocked stream. But with it, we
are able to keep moving, have the energy to consider
change, be alive to our choices.
Awareness and intention are both necessary to enable us
to understand our situation and then formulate what our
choices might be, and the reasoning behind them. This
means that we do have to think about our situation, but
we must not allow ourselves to dwell on it in a negative
way as this produces a downward spiral. We need to be a
little detached if we can, try to look at it logically
rather than too emotionally. If we pretend we are looking
at someone elses life perhaps, this should reduce
the emotional content. However, when looking at possible
new choices, we need to have the emotion back in. We need
to know what excites us, what feels like a poor option,
what seems logical yet is not inspiring enough, what
feels intuitively right. (You can do this by writing
things into columns, scoring things, drawing brain
storming diagrams, etc. You can do it alone, or you can
do it with friends.)
If you still feel stuck then you
probably need a boost - maybe its a shortage of
some mineral, maybe you need a holiday in the sun, or
some work experience of a different nature in your
spare time. Maybe you need to travel and
discover some totally different place, with different
perspectives on life, to reawaken your sense of
In the prime of your life you should have the energy to
follow your inspiration, and even to find that
inspiration again if it has become lost somewhere - under
a pile of old books perhaps, or under your desk or carpet
at work, or perhaps you chucked it out by mistake along
with an old relationship. Claim it back, its yours!
No amount of disappointment should douse its flames. Let
go of the other stuff you dont need - any sourness
or guilt about an old relationship, or a job, or family
issues - and reclaim what you do need in order to move
on. Forgive past stuff and let it go, holding onto it
only hurts you. Forgive others, but also forgive
yourself. Be grateful for what good you did get out of
it, even if it was just a lesson, and then turn your face
forwards and head on up the road. Now be grateful for the
things you do have right now, and the chance to move
towards fresh choices.
You are a unique being come here to live on earth. Find
out what it is you really want to do and journey onwards.
Remember that our earth is here to support you in many
ways - keep grounded and balanced by connecting with it,
and try not to harm it. Remember the universe is there to
support you too, reflecting the fullness of your true
being, and deepening your sense of knowing who you are.
Being in touch with the world around you helps keep you
steady as well as aware. Use your intuition to filter the
stream of information. so that what you glean is
knowledge that is right for you, rather than just
swallowing whatever you are fed. Always remember that you
have the power to choose.
Having a family is a very big choice to make, and too
often we just fall into it without the committment that
it takes. It is your choice of course to take the proper
precautions until you feel you are both ready.
As always we have to realise that choices we make
on behalf of our children will not necessarily always be
right, we can only try our best. It is better
to have some experience of the world first, try out a few
things, so that we have got to a place of some balance
Even so, there is so much room for misunderstanding in a
relationship, especially one that is focused on the kids.
We have to not blame each other for stuff, choices we
made along the way, and try to understand and respect
each others points of view. People often feel
trapped by commitment, but often it is not the
relationship itself, but outside things like having to
move country, not being able to give up your job because
of having to provide security for the family, etc. It may
be more constrained, but there are always still choices,
you just have to discuss stuff properly as friends, and
work primarily as a team. It is important to be honest
about how you feel, but fair, taking into account also
how the other feels. As ever you should try to focus on
the good things instead of the negatives, find the things
to be grateful for, especially in each other.
It is very sad sometimes that the best choice seems to be
to split up again, but that is still better than
suffocating each other slowly if you have grown too far
apart to resolve things. If you love (or have loved)
someone, you would surely prefer to set them free than to
go on being a cause (or perceived cause) of hurt to them.
It is no good clinging together because of fear of how
you will manage, as that will only end up causing more
resentment. Once you know you have to make the choice,
you will find ways to manage.
As we become older we are hopefully even less
tied to the world out there in some ways. We may be able
to be more free in our choice of what we do for example.
If we are lucky, we may not need to put up with other
people telling us what to do too much anymore. We may
have more time to talk with people, to find out details
about things, such as how the world really works, and we
may have more time to share what we have learned. We can
be more detached from what goes on, so we can see the
bigger picture more easily.
We dont have dependents anymore, so we have less to
lose, thus fear is less likely to stop us from saying
what we think and doing what we see fit to do, although
obviously we wont get too cranky as we will want to
be able to see any grandchildren who might come along! We
can choose to accept people and situations for what they
are, or we can still choose to make changes. Either way,
by this time we figure that we must be about as informed
and experienced as we are likely to be, so we accept full
responsibility for our choices, and consequently tend to
be more at peace.
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Links to other articles
- Philosophy and Sensuality
Three - Breathing to Balance Earth Grounding and
Universal Source Connection
Four - Hydration, Detoxification, and Cell Function
Five - To Tame Or Not To Tame the Wild Thing - or - Trust
- Absolution from Absolutes and the Cycle of Change
Seven - Addiction, Depression, and even Weight Issues can
be linked to Mineral Imbalance
Article 8 -
Does familiarity really breed contempt or do we just get
lazy with our communication?
Nine - Heavenly Light and our ability to perceive it
- How we can feel peaceful and
empowered enough to deal with anything
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