Article on Internet
Dating by Julia Woodman
I decided to
try internet dating to find the man of my dreams, the
soul mate I knew was out there somewhere, for these
- One of my brothers had met his
wife this way, and one of my other brothers had
also met some nice people this way.
Also some of my friends had enjoyed meeting
people this way, and there were other success
- Some sites (such as Match) allow
you to do very detailed profiles, so I thought it
would be more likely that someone might
appreciate who I really was.
- The chances of bumping into
someone who would be a good match by randomly
going out to various places seemed unlikely.
Firstly I would have to like the look of someone
enough to start actually talking to them, and
then secondly Id have to take a while to
find out if the kind of person
they were would suit me, and vice-versa of
I tried three
sites over a couple of years and made several good
friends with whom I shared some interests. My
social life looked up,
and I was out enjoying our shared interests and the
company quite a bit. However, I did not meet that
special someone I was seeking (not at this point anyway).
The sites were
- Match as already
mentioned, with a lot of people with really
However, some people didnt bother filling
in their profiles properly, and I thought this
was a real shame as it would reduce their chances
of finding a good match.
A few people did tell unlikely stories, but I
either shied away from them altogether, or tested
the stories out by email.
- Single50s which was
obviously for people in the age group I was
looking for, as well as being more of a local
match up site.
The profiles werent as detailed, but there
was often enough to give you a good idea,
especially if people took the trouble to put in
details, and it was easy to meet up
as everyone was reasonably local.
- eHarmony I tried
this one as my sister-in-law recommended it.
She said it was a particularly safe one as each
party had to ask each other several series of
questions before the site would allow direct
(exchange of your own email addresses etc was
blocked until you had been through these stages).
However, I found that these questions were not
the kind of
questions I would ask, and I also got some really
strange answers, for example I found an abundance
of men who said that it was imperative to have 3
showers per day. I did meet one man via
this website, quite far from my area, but
although we had a lovely evening and seemed to
both like each other,
he was a bit worried that one of my skills is
divining, and decided not to meet again.
I did not have
any problems with anybody, as I always carefully followed
the good safety advice of meeting initially in a public
place. The other thing is to tell someone
where you are going and who with, and to have your mobile
phone to hand. Get a friend to call you at a
pre-agreed time to check you are okay.
benefit of doing the detailed profile on Match was that I
realised that I was nearly 50 and there were a couple of
life ambitions I had not yet fulfilled.
This taking stock of my situation led me to start to
exercise a lot and prepare for the trip to Peru and the 4
day Inca Trail hike I had always wanted to do
I also started Spanish lessons to help with this, a
language I had always felt an affinity for. The
other thing I did was to hire a saxophone as I had always
wanted to play,
and I ended up buying it and still am learning.
using the internet dating sites for over a year as I did
meet a couple of local people in that time, via friends.
One turned out to have a hugely different
understanding to what a relationship was that it never
really took off although we tried twice, and the other I
got on very well with (even travelling together), but
he did not want to live together, so we became just
friends, and I continued my search.
I came upon
the site Zoosk, via Facebook, and immediately found
several people I enjoyed good chats with but never got
around to meeting. Then a man contacted me
who had weird pictures but a personal profile that made
me really sit up and notice. He had only just
joined up too. We agreed to meet up on New Years Eve 2009
at a pub
near me. I had never been there before as I hadnt
been living long in the area, but we had to start
somewhere. We spoke on the phone a couple of times
things were really going well. We took one look at
each other in the car park, and both of us knew we were
meant for each other, and we have not looked back since.
Those weird pictures did not show what he was really like
at all, and his profile had been so detailed and clearly
honest (like mine), that we knew before we even met that
to be friends.
We got engaged on Easter Sunday and are getting married
So, I do
recommend trying it, but the main points to remember are
- Take the trouble to present a
profile that really shows who you are if you want
to meet someone who is going to be a good match.
- Be careful and take all the
recommended safety precautions above
- Dont do it for laughs or
you might just be taken for a nasty ride
there are obviously people out there who will use
you if they think you are open to it.
Be very clear with yourself about what you are
Best of luck,